Here is a picture showing how to wire the flip flop relay.
Vcc is +5vdc
Momentarily applying ground to the input terminal toggles the output relay.
Connect 12 volts to the relay COM terminal.
Connect the relay N.O. terminal to the load.
Of course the load also has a ground wire connected to it.
Advantages of this module are low cost and low control current which is good for the stick switch.
A disadvantage is that it requires 5vdc for the control circuit.
Another option is an impulse relay
It costs between $50 and $70. It is electro-mechanical, not solid state. The control circuit requires more current.
What is the rating of the stick switch?
The impulse relay coil should have an arc suppression diode across it
with the banded end connected to positive.