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Other: What really matters in life.

AX-O

Well Known Member
DR, please remove if this is not appropriate. I just needed to get this off my chest.

In my job I place myself in situations were risk is much higher than I would like. Flight testing is dangerous business sometimes. I know that and I am willing to accept that risk if need be. That said, my fianc?e works at a medical clinic. A job that I would consider to be very low risk on her life. We live in a very small town in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Population around 30,000 people.

Boy was I wrong. Yesterday a gunman entered her building. Pockets full of amo (trunk also full of amo) and an armed weapon in hand. He walked across from the office she works in, hit a lady in the head (and the arm) with the weapon and opened fire. The lady took off running and went to my fianc?e?s office. The lady started screaming to call 911 that he had a gun. Someone in my fianc?e?s office ran and locked the front door. They gather all the patients and put them in examination rooms and told them to lie down.

I was at work when I received the call. ?Honey, I am hiding under a desk. There is a man in the building with a gun. We are in one of the examining rooms. Just wanted to call and let you know what is going on before you found out. I have to go, love you?. After that call I was out of it. I did not know what to do. I wanted to leave however I did not want to be in the way of the authorities if I went to her work. Then the email came across. Our facility was secured, no one in, no one out.

I called my fianc?e again and she did not pick up. I was really worried now. She called me a few minutes later and told me the shots were very close to her and that she could smell the gun powder. Then one last shot.

The cops took the gunman down and everyone was evacuated out of the building. After talking to the police she and her coworkers were released and told to go home. By that time my facility was no longer on lock down. I drove home and spent the rest of the day with her.

She is doing ok, however she is very timid and out of it at times. She told me everything keeps replaying in her mind. No one other than the gunman lost their life.

I, like many of you build and fly. Some times I worry and place too much attention on things that should not matter. Yes, one of my dreams is to build and fly my own aircraft. BUT what really is important in life, is life. It is unfortunate that I have been caught up in this project and it took something this drastic to realize how fragile life is. The news paper story can be read here click

DR, like I said. Please delete if this is in violation of any of the forum rules or regs.
 
wow

serious things like this will change you forever. coming this close to dying or losing somone you love dearly will change you for the rest of your existance. glad no one got seriously wounded. she needs to talk with someone to exercise the demons. good luck thank god no one was seriously unjured.

on a side note
"Posttraumatic Growth ,


Life presents each of us with challenges from time to time. Sometimes these challenges are major in proportion and could be described as life crises or trauma. The death of a loved one, involvement in a major accident or a serious injury are common examples. After years of focus on the difficulties that may occur in response to such events in our lives, i.e. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a growing body of knowledge is developing around the potential positive outcomes of life's difficult times. This is now known as Posttraumatic Growth. Although it is a recently coined term, the idea is not new. We've all heard the saying "what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger" or similar words of wisdom.

According to psychologists at the University of North Carolina ? Charlotte, "Posttraumatic Growth" tends to occur in five general areas. Sometimes people who must face a major life crises develop a sense that new opportunities have emerged from the struggle?opening up possibilities that were not present before. A second area is a change in relationships with others. Some people experience closer relationships with specific people and they can also experience an increased sense of connection to others who suffer. A third area of possible change is an increased sense of one's own strength ? "if I lived through that, I can face anything." A fourth aspect of posttraumatic growth experienced by some people is a greater appreciation for life in general and the fifth area involves the religious or spiritual domain. Some individuals experience a deepening of their spiritual lives, which may also involve a significant change in one's belief system.

While not universal, the phenomenon of reported benefits attributed to difficult times is widely documented. Unfortunately, a time period of struggle is usually required to reap those benefits. The bad news (which is not really news) is that life involves struggles and suffering. When bad stuff happens, many of us will struggle temporarily with a variety of distressing reactions. The good news is that out of these difficult times, over time, we often make positive gains."


my wife says im a better man now that ive been over the hill and dug my way back through. :)
 
Axel--

I am so glad she--and you--are okay.

We can make flipant comments about times/events like these..."that that doesn't kill me makes me stronger". It's a macho response that we have all heard.

Yet, if you really think about it, doesn't it ring true? Whether it's a hair raiser in an airplane, a near miss in a car, experiencing a near fatal illness, a stretch in combat, or heaven forbid, something like your love went through; we tend to emerge from traumatic events in a stronger way.

I am confident things will return to normal for your fiance & you; and with time your relationship will benefit/be stronger because of the things you two go through.

Again, I am very pleased that she came out okay...thoughts are with you, stay strong.

Joe
 
Kind of puts frustrations like traffic jams on the way home from work into perspective, doesn't it? Every day that we have is precious; make the most of it.

Glad your family is Ok.
 
Scary Time

It must have been a really scary time for both of you (and the others). I'm relieved no one was more physically hurt. I hope the emotional healing comes quickly.

Thank you for sharing this information - it is a reminder to all of us to put things in our own lives into better perspective. It has for me.

John
 
Axel, thank God your fianc?e is OK. Thanks for posting what you did and if I can be of any help please don't hesitate to ask.

Kindest,
Doug
 
Glad it turned out ok

Axel,
Wow, that is soooo scarey. I have a wife and 3 small kids and this kind of thing just freaks me out. I saw a story on a family in the NE that got broken into and it was a horrific and tragic outcome and that news clip still haunts me 2 weeks later.
Glad everything is ok and you are right...........life is precious.
 
I usually separate my topics when I post... This time I'll make an exception. Pilots are mostly type A personalities, and as such we tend to take more risk when faced with decisions. Unexpected things happen all the time and we should aways contemplate the odds. If we don't, we become complacent and complacency can be deadly.

In my personal life, I have several hobbies. My main hobby in life deals with firearms. I helped campaign for several years to bring a concealed carry law to Ohio. Concealed carry weapon holders in many ways are just like pilots. We force ourselves to calculate risks. The odds are with you that sometime in your lives you'll come to a life altering situation. Some of us choose to be prepared differently then others.
 
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You probably know this already

Axel,

Your description of your wifes emotional state is very suggestive of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This can happen anytime someones life is at risk, they are powerless in the situation, and for them...everything has changed in that moment / period of time.

War, a horrendous traffic accident, witnessing violence, being raped, and many other events can / will produce this type of emotional response. Coping in such a situation can easily overwhelm most of us, and you can probably expect she will have a need for a professional to assist her in recovering and returning to a "normal" state of personality and life.

I expect the hospital (employer) will begin addressing this tomorrow, but in case they do not, or do not provide the level of intervention required by your needs, you might want to consider helping her reach out somewhere else to help this get resolved. And...it may take some time....more than either of you expect.

Again, I'm sure you will have lots of help and resources, but if you do not, please feel free to contact me and I can direct you to where it can be found.

Glad she is physically unhurt.

Sincerely,
Ron Patterson
[email protected]
 
Wow, I glad to hear no one was hurt. I cant imagine how it must have felt to not be able to do anything at the time. I recall how protective (and agressive) I feel when my wife tells me someone was simply mean to her. Im just entering fatherhood and will most likely feel this way even more so towards my boy. Life is short and I remind myself all the time to "live like you're dying" when faced with life altering or mood changing events. I watched a video on youtube that really made me stop and think about others as opposed to my own life. It also reminds me how crazy this world really is sometimes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ervaMPt4Ha0

Be safe, kind, caring and forgiving oh and give everyone you know a big hug sometimes.

-Jeff
 
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