You're not alone in struggling to find the "graceful" way to 3-point an RV-8.
I'm surprised to hear your airplane drops suddenly, as I can't get mine to a stall attitude without hitting the tailwheel well before the mains.
If I try to land on all three wheels at once, the problem I have is that the wing isn't ready to quit flying and I have trouble predicting where it's going to dart next.
I find that the airplane is very easy to wheel land, and I nearly always make a "tail low" wheel landing with the tailwheel about 6 inches or so off the runway.
With most other taildraggers I have flown, the 3-point landing is usually easier and feels more natural, but the -8 definitely likes to be wheeled on.
The airspeed with the "tail-low but not 3-point" attitude is only a few knots faster than full stall, so runway length rarely becomes an issue. The extra control authority at the slightly higher speed makes it much easier to "nail" a smooth landing, IMHO.
Any extra power carried into the flare will make the airplane more difficult to land, especially with a FP prop.